Case in point
A few years ago now, I used to coach 2 junior netball teams – one which was really clicking and winning nearly every game; the other hadn't won a game because the girls were just learning the sport but they improved every week.
During a game, I found out (via my President yelling this information to me whilst I was coaching on the sidelines) that she had been advised by my Manager there was major parent unrest and she was calling a parent meeting to sort it out.
This was new information to me as the majority of the girls and their parents had been very supportive of me and the improvement I had already made with their children's netball skills.
But unfortunately as we hadn't won a game, the Manager and two other parents (who believed their daughters were God's gift to netball) were looking at the score each week rather than the improvement and the happy smiling faces I received when I praised the team for their effort.
Rather than having a conversation with me about the supposed parent unrest, they chose instead to shaft me and take their issues immediately to the President who, unfortunately, also handled the situation very unprofessionally.
Now as these three parents had been slowly undermining my authority and been quite negative in front of the girls since day one, after much thought, regret and sadness; I tendered my resignation for the good of the team.
Why?
Because I knew the behaviour of these parents wouldn't change and as a volunteer, I shouldn't have to battle each and every week, doing something which I loved and was very good at (BTW - I'm a 3 times Premiership Coach).
What happened next was interesting.
The actions of these minority parents and my unexpected decision caused the other parents to rally behind me because their children were in tears at losing their beloved coach – an outcome I never thought would happen nor did I want.
So, just like a game of chess, the Club and Parent meeting was very interesting as there were varying versions of the truth being discussed.
Thankfully, after me not coaching the girls for just a week, a positive resolution was reached as the wonderful parents begged me to come back and surprise, surprise, the three 'unhappy' parents left the team.
Result?
I returned to a harmonious team and continued to do what I loved – teaching young girls the skills of netball and of life – without being surrounded by negativity and feeling like I was always looking over my shoulder.
So why do I share this very personal story with you?
Because too often, I see people making decisions in business, in sport, in politics, in relationships and thus in life based solely on whether they like someone or not.
Liking someone should not be the only basis for making a decision.
Yes it certainly helps if we get along with the people we work with, but the fact is we won't always like everyone we come across, just as not everyone will like you or me.
But we need to respect one another and especially those in leadership positions; be it owner, boss, colleague, coach or Prime Minister.
We may not always agree with our leaders but we should always respect the position and discuss rationally and professionally any differences we may have with them to then come to a place of mutual respect and understanding.
I know from personal experience and years of coaching owners and teams that sometimes you just can't overcome personality battles because every time you think the issue is resolved, they start stirring the pot again so it's not worth engaging in the first place.
Hence, my decision to resign because I knew at the time, nothing I said or did would change the behaviour or attitudes of these three minority parents; and I needed to put my energy and effort where it would do the most good.
We also have to accept and know it's OK that not everyone in the workplace, team etc are 'best buddies'; but they do need to find a way to harmoniously and respectfully work together to achieve the desired outcomes.
